Back-to-School Blues Are Real: Why Moms Feel It— And How to Cope
I thought I’d be ready. After all, my last child was more than prepared to start college—responsible, independent, and eager for the adventure ahead. What I didn’t expect was the sudden quiet that hit me once the back-to-school rush was over. No sports practices. No float-building. No late-night headlights pulling into the driveway. Just me, standing in the shift between one season of parenting and another, wondering what this new chapter would look like.
When the school year starts up again—or when kids leave for college—many mothers experience a quiet wave of sadness, anxiety, or even a sense of disorientation. Researchers at the Anxiety & Depression Association of America note that transitional stress often spikes in September as routines shift and caregiving roles change.
I felt this myself when my last child started college. It wasn’t worry about whether they would manage—I knew they were ready for that. The shift was in me. Suddenly there were no more high school sports, no float-building, no waiting up after late-night drives. For moms, this transition can feel like both the loss of familiar routines and the uncertainty of how your relationship with your child will change. It takes time to adjust to your role with a young adult.
Here are four things that have helped me—and may help you too:
Normalize it – This is a widespread experience, not a personal failing. Feeling off during big transitions is human.
Reset your routine – When old routines fall away, the quiet can feel unsettling. This is the perfect time to create new rhythms that center on you:
Reclaim mornings: Use early hours for a walk, journaling, or reading with coffee.
Build weekly anchors: A class, club, or volunteer shift gives structure and purpose.
Move your body: Exercise boosts both energy and mood regulation.
Strengthen relationships: Make space for friends or peer groups who are in the same life stage.
Redesign evenings: Replace the once-busy nights with hobbies, creative projects, or intentional downtime.
Small adjustments like these help create a sense of stability and forward momentum while you adapt to change.
Stay connected – Even small check-ins with your kids matter. A quick text or call preserves the bond while giving them the independence they need.
Shift your focus – Pursuing hobbies, personal goals, or projects you’ve been putting off. Lean into the chance to expand your identity and discover new ways of living fully.
For me, the adjustment has carried both grief and freedom. I miss the daily rhythms of the high school years, but I also feel the space opening up for me to breathe, create, and invest in what comes next.
Takeaway: The back-to-school transition isn’t about losing your role—it’s about evolving it. Your kids will always need you, just in different ways. And in that change, there’s also room for you to grow.
Sources:
Anxiety & Depression Association of America – Back-to-School Anxiety
ADD Clinic of Idaho – When School Starts Again: The Hidden Emotional Toll on Moms
